It is love at the first stop. The late night talks, the sex, everything is good until you move in together maybe cohabiting or just married.
That is when you realize that you are in love with a difficult person, he doesn’t appreciate the dinner you cooked nor the sex you had nor the pregnancy you are having, and he doesn’t appreciate you for all the kids you have with him, he wants things to be done his way not in mutual agreement.
You want to quit the relationship but fear your friends will laugh at you, or your family will look down upon you. So you stay but you stay in mental and emotional breakdown, living near suicide even bipolar moods.
As long as your partner is not physical, these few steps to love a difficult partner will help you easily;
- Be ahead of him.
This means you already know what he likes and what he doesn’t like.
If you are ahead of him he has no room for nagging.
His shirts well arranged, his food ready at the time he prefers it, his shoes are placed where he wants them placed.
He will be surprised.
Don’t nag back.
He is busy complaining why you don’t want to watch the football with him?
Answer should be “I had a busy day baba…and I wish to have some rest”
Don’t respond back in a way as if it’s a fight.
Always show that you care even if he wants to complain at everything and anything.
Don’t fight for the remote.
Don’t fight for the remote, it’s stupid. YouTube has alternatives to watch, even telegram has all the movies it doesn’t have to be Netflix.
- Thank you.
Thank you for giving us a surname. Without it we are homeless and our identity is dead in the generations to come. Thank you for working to feed us and give use other basic needs.
Thank you for giving me the title Mama.
Always be thankful for every small thing he does.
Your body, your homestead and especially your bedroom should be clean and welcoming.
- Talk with love and respect.
Don’t be the noisy wife who wants to put a point across by shouting.
Talk with love and gentleness. Even when you are not happy, stay composed.
- Even when you have more money than him, always show him that you need him.
Kinship ties are important in continuing your blood lineage. So yes, even with all the education and money you still need that man you want to look down upon. You need a home and a decent burial. Your children too they need to have a surname.
Don’t live the life of “take take but you never give “.
Don’t pay back bad for bad.
Revenge is the work of the devil and the results are divorce, noisy non-peaceful families, children with one parent or total orphans in cases of homicide attempts.
Stay focused and know why you got married the first step and why you need to co exist peacefully with your man.
Do your part and let God.
Regards-Miss Janet (wife,mother,student,freelancer)